I am anxious.
I feel it in my bones.
Why, o Lord?
Why is my heart beating so fast? Why does everything feel strange?
Tell me that I can do this, Lord.
When my heart is racing and my mind is racing and my thoughts are coming at me a mile a minute. When I feel inadequate and like I can’t measure up. When I feel like everything I do is wrong and everyone knows. When it seems like everyone is staring yet no one cares.
Then, in that moment Lord, when everything begins to collide, grant me peace. Please, good and gracious God, be merciful with me. Allow me to breathe. Allow me to rest in you. Give me a peace that passes all understanding. Give me a moment of tranquility in my life. I desire, dear Jesus, to feel the rest from my wandering brain and anxious heart. A rest that I know can only come from you.
God, sometimes I feel like a fraud. I feel like I’m a fake and soon everyone will know. Everyone will know that sometimes the person you created me to be fails. I falter and I freeze. I fear. I fear too much. I fear irrationally. I fear for things that will never come to pass.
Help me to realize that I am enough. With your grace and the Holy Spirit, I am enough. With the realization that I am yours for eternity, I am enough. I alone am not enough, but with you I am capable of all things.
Continue to guide me. Continue to help me feel capable. Continue to grant me that peace that I feel coming from you. But, more than anything, help me to see those blessings. Help me to see every step that you take towards me beckoning me to come and rest in you. And let me rest, dear God, let me rest.